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Eight Keys to Hope
By Naomi Drew M.A.
“I’ve been so overwhelmed by what’s going on
these days,” a mother recently said regarding world events. “I feel like there's nothing I can do
and the world’s spinning out of control.” Her words echo the sentiments so many of us feel each time we
pick up a paper or turn on the news.
War on the horizon, nuclear weapons in North Korea, a sniper in the
Washington area, a family of six killed by a fire bomb in Baltimore, the
massacre in Bali -- the list goes on.
Right now, it’s easy to lose hope.
But loss of hope doesn’t have to be the path we walk down.
You see, hope is actually
something we create. It’s not
something that magically appears from an outside source. We each have within us the capacity to
generate hope. That it’s critical
that we be absolutely intentional about nurturing hope in our lives and the
lives of our children. Now more than
ever, overcoming fear and holding onto hope are essential.
The eight steps below will enable you do this. Try these steps yourself and teach them to
your kids. Do a couple as a
family. Know that it is within your
control to become more hopeful. Don't
let the news be your undoing. You can take charge. Here’s how:
1. Be kind to yourself. Think about what you need most, and then do it. Is it a cup of tea, a brisk walk, some
downtime, quiet music, a little rest, or reading inspirational
literature? Whatever it is, grant
yourself permission to do it, even for just a few minutes. If you’re at work, take a ‘care-break’
where you take care of you for a brief moment. These small moments accumulate and transform the texture of our
days.
2. Create a 5-minute of silence ritual every. Light a candle and pray, meditate or reflect. You don’t have to believe in any
particular deity to make this work.
Just silently reflecting in front of a lit candle is extremely
nurturing and healing. This may be
the one time of day when you feel connected to your own soul, and perhaps
even something larger. Don’t skip
this step -- it’s very powerful.
3. Curtail your intake of news.
Oversaturation with news right now is detrimental to emotional
health. If you read the newspaper in
the morning, let that be enough. You
don’t need to turn on the TV or radio too, especially before bed. Consider putting a complete moratorium on
news at least once a week. Anything
you missed will be there tomorrow.
Drastically curtail any news you let your children watch.
4. Treat each day like the precious gift it is; be vigilant in looking for
things and people to appreciate.
What if today were the last day of your life? How would you want to live it? Ask yourself this question throughout the
day. It will help you let go of the
countless petty annoyances that tend to throw most of us off balance. Shift your gaze to appreciation. Who and what are you grateful for? Make a list each day and add to it.
5. Every morning, afternoon and night, take a 30-second break to look at
the sky, breathe deep and offer thanks.
Even though the world has its problems, the sun still rises in the sky
each morning, and we’re awake and alive when we get out of bed. Let the sky be a touchstone to hope. Think of other people around the world as
you look at the sky, and know that we all share this planet together. Among all of us, we have the ability to
create solutions to the problems that now exist. Trust that this is so.
6. Express love tangibly.
Hugs, words, notes, acts of kindness -- be indiscriminately generous
with all of them. Surprise a
colleague or friend with a hug. Hug
and kiss your kids longer and with deeper feeling. If you like how the clerk treated you in the store, thank
her. Leave your partner small notes
expressing gratitude for kind acts.
Doing all of this adds warmth and positive energy to our lives and the
lives of people around us. It’s also
very comforting both to the giver and receiver of each loving act.
7. Say this affirmation every day, and see where it leads you:
"I am the key to peace."
Most of us believe, erroneously, that peace will come from people or
institutions much larger than we.
Just the opposite is true. Peace
starts with each individual and it will only come to this world from the
people themselves. It is critical
that we each create peace in the small and large moments of our lives. We must live it in our words and actions
rather than giving in to fear, hatred, or resignation.
8. Make a difference. Reach out
beyond your normal scope. This is
your opportunity to live your greatest promise, highest self. Don’t wait. Each time we make a difference in the lives of others, we
create hope in ourselves. By reaching
out to someone in need, be it your neighbor, a Guatemalan orphan, or people
in a homeless shelter, we add a little more peace and hope to the world. Our accumulated gestures of care and
compassion will ultimately transform our lives and the lives of others. We are each the source of that transformation. Knowing this gives me hope.
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Naomi
Drew is recognized around the world as an expert on conflict resolution,
peacemaking, and parenting. She is the author of six widely used books.
Her landmark book, Learning the Skills of Peacemaking was one of the
first to introduce peacemaking into public education. Hailed as
visionary, Ms. Drew’s work has enabled families, educators, and kids to live
these skills on a daily basis.
Harvard Medical School’s, Dr.
Robert Brooks, has hailed Ms. Drew’s latest book, The Kids’ Guide to
Working Out Conflicts, as “an invaluable resource,” and people of all
ages attest to durable changes in their relationships after applying the
principles Drew outlines. Her work has been featured in magazines and
newspapers across the United States, including Time, Parents, and The New
York Times. She has been a guest on syndicated radio and national TV,
and has served as a parenting expert for “Classroom Close-ups,” an
Emmy-winning public television show.
Naomi
Drew is a dynamic speaker who has inspired a diverse range of
audiences. She consults to school districts, parent groups, civic
organizations, and businesses, and headed the New Jersey State Bar Foundation’s
Conflict Resolution Advisory panel for eight years. Susan Skog, author of
Peace in Our Lifetime, says, “Naomi Drew is a master teacher and a pathfinder
in our culture.”
Ms. Drew has two grown sons who
were raised in accordance with the principles she writes about. She has
over two decades of experience in the field of peacemaking and conflict
resolution, and has worked with thousands of people of every age. Her
parenting books, Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids and Hope and
Healing: Peaceful Parenting in an Uncertain World , have helped bring the
skills of peacemaking to families throughout and beyond the United
States.
“Peaceful
Parents,” Drew’s on-line newsletter, has a broad international readership,
and her website, LearningPeace.com is a valuable resource to families and
educators worldwide. The Kids’ Guide to Working Out Conflicts,
the latest of her six books, was honored with four national awards including
the National Parenting Publications Gold Award for Children's
Resources. Ms. Drew is a former educator. Her work is considered
cutting-edge because of its relevance, practical nature and applicability.
Learn
more about the principles outlined in her books and workshops at: http://www.learningpeace.com/index.html
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