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Loneliness: 10 Help Strategies Anyone Can Use

By Bill Urell

Next to love, loneliness is probably the second most popular feeling that has inspired a million writers, artists and songwriters to create their masterpieces. Rosetti painted it through the face of his beloved, Van Gogh became a genius because of it and Poe became its poster boy. Yet, loneliness for all its superficial romanticism, is one of the most destructive of human feelings. Here are some ways on how to deal with it and find a happier, more meaningful and enjoyable life:

1. Embrace change. Change occurs in all of our lives and it is this fact that triggers many incidents of loneliness. Simple acts of moving to a new city or of changing jobs or life events like a divorce or separation can cause an overwhelming feeling that you have no one at your side but put it this way.

New cities, environments and status give way to new opportunities you can explore. Your new home may provide you an opportunity for further study, your new job can be your stepping stone to a better career and your new status may just help you improve yourself better. The possibilities are endless both ways; it's just up to you where you want to take them.

2. Set goals. There is no way you can reach your destination if you don't know where you're going in the first place. By setting realistic goals, you will recognize which areas of your life need improvement and which ones to prioritize. Sometimes people isolate themselves by concentrating on too much work.

If this is your case, set small goals that you can complete. Focus on areas such as your own well-being, your personal, social and professional relationships and your community. This helps you decide which activities you'll enjoy more and where you'll prosper.

3. Recognize your needs. Being negligent of one's needs can cause a feeling of inadequacy. It also causes a feeling of not doing enough. Feelings of loneliness are occasionally caused when other's needs take the forefront, pushing our own to a position of lesser importance. There they can remain stagnant and untended to. By recognizing your needs, you affirm your own self-esteem and importance.

4. Expand your horizon. Could it be that you feel stifled by your current environment? Do you need a change of scenery? Want to extend your circle of friends? If you feel you're stuck in a glut and nothing seems to move, it's probably time to push your bubble further.

5. Step out of your comfort zone for a while and explore new things. Do something you've always wanted to do. Keep putting off that trip to the museum? Do it now. Always wanted to sing in a choir? Why not be a joiner and sign up today? By putting your focus on exploring new opportunities and relationships, you discover more in terms of social contacts.

6. Get out and do something. Treat loneliness as a signal to do something for a change. Join a club or a group that promotes your favorite activities or volunteer for charity work that you enjoy. Share your talent with people who are willing to learn. When you're preoccupied, you have no time to feel lonely and by doing what you love, you actually get to accomplish something, adding points for a good ego boost.

7. Take the initiative. How many times have we lost an opportunity because we were too preoccupied, shy or negligent to take advantage of it? Or maybe we waited for it to turn its head and notice us. Deal with loneliness by taking a step out of the shadows and allowing yourself to make the first move. Meet new people, go after a new hobby or take a chance to promote yourself. Remember that many years from now, the one thing you'll regret is something you didn't do and not something you did.

8. Accept the things that you can't change. There will always be things that will remain out of reach from your influence or from your grasp. Learn to acknowledge these within reason and you'll feel happier and more satisfied with the way the world is.

9. Improve your social skills. Communication is key to human relationships and learning how to effectively harness it can do wonders. Brush up on small talk, keep abreast of the latest news. Having something to say lets you penetrate circles you otherwise won't have access to if you kept your mouth shut. Learn about etiquette and make a lasting impression on people as a smart, witty and wonderful individual to make friends with.

10. Be your own best friend. None of the tips above will help you overcome loneliness if you cannot stand to be on your own. If you can be alone and be quite happy and content, then loneliness has no place in your mind. Learn the art of making friends with yourself and enjoy your time alone.

Listen to music, read a good inspirational book, take care of a pet or a plant, write in your journal, cook your favorite food, little things like these help you build a feeling of contentment about yourself. By learning how to look inward and see a beautiful person worth spending time with, you'll see that there really is no reason to be lonely.

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Copyright by Bill Urell

Pick up your Free Recovery Rolodex, Over 88 pages of self help and recovery tips, resources and links to enhance your life. Bill Urell MA.CAAP-II, is an addictions therapist at a leading residential treatment center. Tell Your Story! Visit us at: http://www.AddictionRecoveryBasics.com

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