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Self Help And Your Self Esteem

By Gary M. Miller

People with low self esteem often feel completely alone when it comes to finding a solution to their problem. Without a proper direction finder, they may turn their strength over to one person after another and never really find anyone who can help them. Feeling alone is likely to be one of the most central issues facing people with low self esteem and this is what puts them at a disadvantage.

In order to truly be able to find the right direction in life and to choose the people who will treat us with the respect we deserve, we must first be capable of facing our innermost fears. This fear, of being alone, is the primary fear that must be faced by people with low self esteem.

In order to be able to stand up for yourself, you must be able to walk away from an unhealthy relationship. Whether you actually choose to leave the relationship or not is incidental. The important thing is that you must at least feel that you are capable of leaving. Many people with low self esteem don’t truly know if they are capable of leaving an unhealthy relationship and this is something that the other people in their lives can often sense regardless of the good intentions that they may possess. Because of this critical issue facing people with low self esteem, there are several techniques and practices that can be accomplished as a start which can help to lead to a greater sense of self esteem. The first of these is to practice being alone. For many people, this prospect is terrifying. The fear follows them around everywhere they go, from the minute they wake up in the morning to the final second before they fall asleep. “I can’t be alone” is the common phrase you will hear and it isn’t just a casual joke.

Fear of being alone is something that deeply affects every aspect of your life if you have not faced up to it. The surprising thing is, the fear is entirely imaginary as many people discover when they finally raise their courage to try and face it. Similar to the way a person may enjoy their first airplane ride, they don’t get up in the air without first being extremely scared and wanting to get off the plane altogether. Then as the plane takes off, they imagine they are going to crash and see horrible images of explosions and screaming amongst the passengers. All of this turns out to be completely imaginary, however, as they quickly realize once the plane has reached its highest altitude and levels off. Flying is really fun! What was I so scared of? This experience is very similar for people who are afraid to be alone.

When you first decide to set aside some time each day to be alone, you will likely feel your stomach turn and you will acquire a very large lump in your throat. Imagining false scenarios such as the fact that “Nobody loves me” or “I might die if I am alone” will all come to your mind as you begin to take the prospect more seriously. It helps to determine a set amount of time up front that you will dedicate to being alone. It may only be 30 minutes a day but you can rest assured that you will accomplish it each day and find that you didn’t die or get left without a friend when your time is over. Eventually, you may increase the time to one hour a day or more and start to find that this time becomes a wonderful thing where you can enjoy a good book or just a relaxing walk around a lake. Being alone is one of the greatest things available to us because it gives us time to sort out our thoughts and decide what we really want out of life. We no longer have to be at the mercy of so many people who don’t really have our best interests at heart, regardless of their intentions. People all face issues of their own and each of us could do quite well to look inside ourselves and find the strength to overcome some of our most ridiculous fears. This is what will improve our self esteem and lead us into a happier and healthier life in the future.

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Copyright by Gary M. Miller

Gary Miller was the World's Leading expert on Negative Thinking until he lost approximately $3 Million Dollars because of a lifetime of negative thinking. To learn more about his Journey to a Positive Thinking Recovery and weekly FREE Positive Thinking techniques, you can visit his web site at: http://www.positivethinkingnow.com

Article Source: www.iSnare.com

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